I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
