I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
