That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
