Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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