from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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