Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
