so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
