Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
