it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
