I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
