Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
