my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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