And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
