quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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