Got a toothbrush?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
