I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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