And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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