Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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