One girl and one boy is just not enough.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
