That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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