Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
