Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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