wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
