can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
