we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
