I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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