i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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