I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
