Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
