Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
