How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
