There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
