I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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