Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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