Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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