Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
