Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
