His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
