Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
as a side note pls kill me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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