it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize