We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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