Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
