so that wasnt chicken after all
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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