who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
