You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
