Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
