NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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