you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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