so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
