We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
