I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
