why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
