pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
