You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
