we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
