Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
