sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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