am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
