If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
