Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
