I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dicks are not precious.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
