and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
