Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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