I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
